In China (in Japan even moreso) convenience stores are a cornerstone of one’s daily life. First, they’re open 24/7, a concept you may take for granted in certain parts of the world, but that to us Europeans is still akin to futuristic utopia (or dystopia, depending on your political convictions).
But being open 24/7 isn’t the only great thing about convenience stores in Japan or China. Another contribution to your overall, well, convenience, lies in the services they provide.
Beside buying groceries, you can process all kinds of administrative tasks that would get you a “it’s not my job” from the clerk in pretty much any European country. One of those tasks is paying your utility bills.
One day, in Shanghai, not far from my office, I was at one of those convenience stores waiting in line for my turn at the cashier, electricity bills in hand.
The young lady behind the counter was scanning a few snacks for the girl in front of me. I was in a bit of a hurry and wasn’t in a particularly good mood. Paying bills is never fun.
I was getting fidgety when a lady in her late fifties walked into the convenience store. She stopped an inch or so behind me, and, with the most nonchalant demeanor, looking blankly in my general direction, opened her mouth and let out the loudest burp one could ever imagine coming out of a person that size.
Feeling the sound rattle my eardrums, I turned to her, trying to look unfazed. In fact I was boiling up inside. To this day, I can’t understand why I can’t let this kind of thing slide, but I just can’t. She didn’t seem to understand why I suddenly took an interest in her presence. That infuriated me further, and I made sure to let her know.
“Is this how you greet people when you walk into a store?” I asked her.
She stared blankly at me. I continued.
“Do you think burping like this is civilized behavior?”
She finally reacted and said, nonchalantly “so what? I just had a soda.”
Her answer infuriated me even further. I had to turn away from her and think of my next move.
Then I remembered one thing: I don’t know a lot of tricks, but one thing I used to pride myself on at school as a kid was my ability to burp on command. I had perfected it to a point of reciting the entire alphabet in one go.
My back to her, looking ahead toward the cashier once more, I prepared my burp. As the girl in front of me finished paying and stepped aside, I turned back toward the burping lady and, beating her first record by a dozen decibels, nonchalantly burped right in her face, before advancing to the cashier.
The clerk was laughing at the whole situation. I smiled at her and payed my bill, all the while preparing the mother lode of burps for my grand finale.
The young woman behind the counter kindly handed me my receipts, still smiling. I made a point of thanking her and wished her a great day. I then turned back to the old lady behind me, smiled at her, burped right in her face ever more loudly, and wished her a great day as well.
Stepping out into the cold morning air, I finally cooled down, and wondered if it wasn’t time for a change in my life.